I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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