i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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