so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
