never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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