I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I want her autograph on my taint
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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