my vag is so smooth its legendary
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
