eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
