Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize