So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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