I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
