R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
