ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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