Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize