i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
