At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
