hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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