I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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