New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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