I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
