seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
