he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
