I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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