Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
