"it" just moved
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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