So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
