no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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