It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
