Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
