considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
