I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
