I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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