how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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