I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
50% drunk capacity currently
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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