He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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