My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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