"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
