we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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