it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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