it hurts more in the daytime
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize