My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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