We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
