just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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