I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
