Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
