why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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