Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
