Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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