So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
