remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
