my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
