Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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