Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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