There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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