i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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