I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We need a shit load of segways right now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
