i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize