I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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