week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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