Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize