tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
